It's been a while

Wow, I haven't posted in awhile! We've had 2 appts with Dr. Lesorgen since I've updated. On 2/15 we had another ultrasound and the baby was beautiful! He/she is starting to look like a baby, not just a blob. We saw the arms/legs, it was amazing! The hpm was a strong 170 and it was still as amazing as the first time to hear. The baby was measuring one day ahead, which is great and measured 17mm! Amazing what a difference a day makes!

We also went to our graduating visit with my RE on 2/25. We had to wait a little extra time because I wasnt told that my ultrasound was external, so I had to fill my bladder...boy in the end I was about to explode! I couldnt believe that the baby was already big enough to be seen externally and hear the heartbeat again :-) Again it was a strong 170bpm. We didn't get to see much this time since external is much harder to see and with a little extra, I'm sure its tougher, but I saw the flicker of the heartbeat and heard it, so I didnt care about much else! He/she was measuring 26mm, again one day ahead of schedule! So, after all went well, including my prog level, though I am weary, I graduated to my reg OB. Don't get me wrong, I will forever be thankful to Dr. Lesorgen and Linda, well and I guess Christine (the U/S tech), and I love them, I just wanted to be able to be a "normal" pg patient. Of course the person that made this all possible is God and I thank him every day. On Monday 3/3 I will have my first appt with Dr. Rauthauser, so I will keep you updated.

For now, I'm simply nauseous, hungry, tired, etc. I've been vomiting a lot, but hopefully it will get better. My heartburn is not too bad and I hope it doesnt get any worse! But it doesnt matter, I will do it for this baby!

I'm in Heaven!!

Well, we got to see our baby today! It was absolutely amazing! We got to see the little flicker of the heartbeat and we also got to hear it! It was a good 130 beats/min and Derek says it sounded like a train according to Derek. The baby is measuring right on schedule and is 8mm long. It was truly phenomal. The gift of life that God gives us is truly incredible!

Beta # 3

Wel, on Monday I went in for beta # 3 and had like 8 vials of blood taken to do prenatal screening....scary!!

Dr. Lesorgen did an internal exam and saw no spotting and my cervix is closed..which is all great!

I got the phone call and my beta # is great...it went from 434 to 4,558 in one week! So the baby is growing well. However, my progestrone level dipped a little bit to 17 and I started flipping. Now, it is not low enough to get concerned about, so I calmed down after a while, but I am being put on suppositories so that I can get my levels back to where they were, jsut to be on the safe side. It's probably since my ovaries are supposed to produce this hormone and on their own, without meds, they dont know how to do much of anything lol.

So, on Monday, Feb 4, we get our first Ultrasound!! I am dying for Monday to come so I can see the baby and most likely be able to see the heartbeat and then I will be more relaxed. Right now I'm on edge even though I know I need to calm down. Everything is going great, but I'm just a worry wart. Well, I'll let you know on Monday what we got to see and if there is one baby or more (gasp)...as long as the baby/babies are healthy I could care less!

So far, so good :-)

Well, beta numbers should ate least double every 48 hours and mine went from 37 to 434 in 4 days!!! Yay, God- willing the numbers will keep going up at this rate (or ate least doubling every 48 hrs) and we'll be good to go!! Every one is soo excited!!! We have another appt on 1/28 for beta again and an office consult with Dr. Lesorgen bc he likes to talk to pregos :-) I'm high above the moon right now, but I am truly very tired...no complaints though, I would do anything for this baby!!

It's official...I'm having a baby!!!

Wow, I still think that I'm saying the words, but I don't realize how much my life has just been tocuhed when our miracle baby was created! These have been an intersting few days to say the least. On the early AM of the 16th, around 2 am, I woke up and began to vomit and have diarrhea...it was the big bad stomach bug :-( I layed around all day and ended up with a fever of 105 degrees!! I almost couldn't believe it! The ambulance came and they took my heart rate and it was 155..apparently when your fever is so high the reason you can die is because of your heart going coo-coo...and I was almost giving meds to slow it down, btu thankfully the tylenol I took before they came was good enough to start bringing it down by itslef and it was around 130ish but the time I got to RWJ. It ended up that they did a urine prego test and it was negative, but they said it doesnt really detect until beta over 50, which I was so early, technically tom would be my missed period, so it neg, and not only was I sick, but I was devestated!!

Needless to say I went for my lad work yesterday morning as plannned and they called back with the great news.....I in fact AM pregnant and my beta # was 37.4, which is perfectly normal for this early in the pregnancy, and therefore, is why the test at the hospital was neg. They also said that my levels for other stuff, I think progestrone ? were high, which is great and they should be, but is probably why else I'm feeling so queasy, but its ok, a baby is worth it...all we pray for is a healthy baby! PHEW, was I releived and estatic, though I dont think it will hit me until I see that baby and hear the heartbeat :-) We picked up a few books for grandparetns at the bookstore and went and surprised both sets of grandparents. First, we went to my parents house and gave my mom the book she was excited and then I told my dad and he kind of had a smirk and was unsure of what to say and stared Derek down like, YOU did this to her, lol, but after that and his concern for my weight, a job, etc, he got over it and he seems excited. Their only concer now is that I'm due the end of September and that is the usual time they go to Greece!! How dare us, lol, but they obviuosly got over it :-)

Joyce and Vicky are praying for a HEALTHY baby girl and Joyce already asked how old she would be for Halloween so she can dress her up :-) Derek is set on a HEALTHY boy, I'm simply set on a HEALTHY baby, though girl stuff is adorable :-X

We then drove...in the SNOW to Derek;s parents house and I knew they were going to know as soon as they saw us. Lissette looked at Derek and was in shock, like No?!?! and she cried and hugged us and Julio figured it right out too and poor Tiffany was clueless, but was soo happy when she figured it out :-) So now all of the adventures begin...waking up in the middle of the night to pee, nauseous, heartburn, etc.

Actually, Linda, the vampire from my RE like I call her, called this morning jus to congratualte me since she doesn't work on Thursdays!! I love her so much...with God, Dr. Lesorgen and Linda, oh yea and of course Derek ;-) I wouldn't be prego. Now all we ask for is for the Lord to bless us throughtout this healthy pregnancy and let our baby be healthy!! I go back for beta to make sure that its rising steadily on Monday, so I'll keep you posted!!

10dpo and BFP!!!

well, today is the first time in my life that I ever took a pregnancy test and it said Pregnant!! I just have been feeling weird, breast tenderness, frequent peeing, cramping, etc., and so I decided to take a test this morning just for the heck of it and it was a BFP!!! I am cautiously excited because I called the RE and they said that they can't rule out the "trigger" giving me the positive, even though I have previously tested on 10dpo and got BFN, so I'm very optimistic. All of the boards on the nest...TTC, success after IF tell me they have see this before and the drugs should be out of my system. I sure hope so!! I'm going for bloodwork on Thursday morning, I hope it says the same thing!

Optimistically Waiting...

Well, the IUI's were a hit!! Daddy's counts were great this month, 100 mil and 120 mil respectivley compared to about 20 million in the previous months IUI's! So they happened on 1/4 and 1/5 with a lot of BDing around those times too ;-) So, now we just sit here and wait. My breasts are very tender and have been for quite a few days and usually its only for a few days before my period and my RE said it could be an early sign! God-willing, that is what it is. My hormone levels and lining look great and 2 eggs ovulated, so all we can do it sit and wait and hope this it!!

So far, so good

The injectable needles are a breeze, well, let me rephrase that, they're nothing compared to what I thought they would be.

The first needle was a mental battle with myself. I must have filled the syringe 3-4 times to make sure I get every bubble out, even though they wouldn't kill me since they're not in my veins and I was probably just making them up. Then I alcoholed everything including myslef A LOT of times to make sure it was sterile, lol, I have issues. And it took me about a hlaf an hour to get myself to do it and Derek just kept saying it'll be fine..but I'm not doing it LOL. And really, it wasn't bad at all! Last nights hurt a teeny bit and bled a smidget but I think it was because I didn't get it to room temp. Even though you don't really feel that, but who knows.

Well, originally when I went in on Monday, New years eve 2007, they found 9 eggs...all measuring between 9-15 and most were on the 9-11 side. This is about normal, but shows thats I'm responding well to the injectables! Yesterday when I went, I have 2 at mature size (17.5, 18.5) so tonight I'm going to trigger and go for back to back IUI's again on Fri and Sat. Though they only measured 7 yesterday, they stopped measuring them around the 9-10 and I had quite a few more, but wit hthe other 2 so big, they won't mature in time anyway. Oh yea and we had one at 13, they didn't say anything about it, but it can still grow after the trigger and may be able to be released as well, but truly, only God knows.

So, hopefully this weekend will be it.

IUI #2&3 a bust...

Well, this last cycle was a bust too so it's on to injectables...YIKES!! I am taking 100 mg clomid for cd3-7 and then today I start 150mg of gonal-f injectables and go see whats developing on monday. I hope this works...I HATE needles!!!! Yesterday Linda taught us how to do the injectables and when she did it to me it didn't hurt at all...so I hope that I can do the same thing because Derek refuses to stick a needle in me. I hope this works, because if not I think we're going to take a break for a while....not quite sure what our next step is or what our ins coers..they change their mind every day!! Plus we've spent a LOT of $$ so far and I am so thankful that they gave me the injectables for free or else we wouldn't be able to do them.

I know that I don;'t write in here as often as I should, but I feel that when I write it, I think about it a LOT and then I cry, so I try t not cry so much, but hopefully we'll have a healhty baby this cycle since I have alrady responded to the clomid so fingers crossed and lots of preayers to God!!

This cylce seems to be going better....

Well, this cycle I went on day 12 to check for progress and I had an 18 and 20 mm egg so on cd14, 12/5 we went in for an IUI and a trigger shot. And then back on Thurs 12/6 for another IUI, which both had good counts and motility like a Christmas sale at Macys, lol! The shot hurt...A LOT and I still have a red mark in the spot and it hurt for a few days, but if it brings us a healthy you, then I don't care about all this proding and pricking! Well, on 12/12 we see where my estrogen levels and uterine lining are at and on 12/19 we shall find out the truth about this cycle!! I hope this work and we have a Christmas miracle!!

This cycle was a bust....

Well, my one percious egg did not get fertilized and my AF came the night before Thanksgiving! So I had to go in on Sat for baseline bloodwork and an ultrasound and boy was that interesting!! There were 2 ladies there that I've never met before and the one that did my bloodwork and us was like 80-90 years old and sooo slow. The us was probably like 15 mins long!!! Well, all I have to say is all is well, all of my meds are raised and I have to begin them today, cd5, so we'll see God-willing this will be our lucky cycle. I think I will ask for a trigger shot to be more percise and I will def do at least one IUI and question the benefits of a second back-to-back one. I will do all that we can to get you here into this world and most of, keeping the both of us healthy in the meantime! Well, I'll let you know what happens next week when I go in for monitoring.

Update on RE appts

Well, I haven't updated in a while. Last week I went to the RE on m/w/f to get my levels and see if I was close to ovulating. Well on Wednesday when I was at day 15 and I hadn't made much progress since Monday I broke down. I was really upset, but god answered my prayers like always and on Friday I found out that I have one good egg on the right hand side and I was close to ovulating!!! I was on cloud nine...it was so exciting!! So I went on Monday 11/5/07 for an IUI. It was very intersting....we got the "gift" in the parking lot to be fresh and then it has to be washed and you have to wait afterwards and wear a plastic baggie inside!! Wait until I tell you this story!! So now we're playing the waiting game and on Mon 11/12 I have to go back and get blood work done beacuse if my estrogen levels aren't up you wont become implanted even if you were "fertilized" so I guess depending on my levels I may need to take shots....but one step at a time.

Louis's wife Ada had a dream (without knowing what we're going through) that I was prego with twins, so we'll see, but right now I'm focusing on have one healthy baby, if I have more than 1 thats great as well..as long as they're healthy. I had a dream last night too that I took a prego test and it had 2 lines, but its still to early to test. On a better note, they say if you take your temp it rises when you O and doesnt go back down unless you didn't conceive and I didn't take it before lol, but its over 100 now still so I think its always been that high. but all we can do is wait!

Car for baby!!

Well, i officially got the best b-day present ever...a new car!! I got the 2008 toyota rav4...just for you! Well, okay, not exactly, I needed a new car and I liked this one, my dad made a deal and ta-da! i'm excited and hope that you will be here soon to ride in it...its a pretty smooth ride if do say so myself!! It's the greatest gift that I've ever recieved, well aside from my faith, love and health, and the only b-day present that could ever top it is you :-)

RE Appt #3

Well, today was the third day of my cycle and therefore I had to go to my specialist for blood work, an ultrasound, and to talk about our next step. I will be given 100mg of Clomid in addition to my metformin and we discussed possibly having an IUI as well. I will be monitored for ovulation, triggered if it doesn't come and hope for the best. He also stated that the latest news on PCOS is to lose 5% of body weight (which I more/less have) and Clomid, so we're basically doing everything that we can. Great, I'm just waiting for the news that we want now too. Carla and Dimitra had their babies and I haven't seen them yet, but its getting me upset just thinking about how they will be glowing just watching over and looking at their children. Do not get me wrong, I am so happy for both of them, but after going through everything we've been through, its hard to not be a little jealous. Well, the doctor seems very confident that we are on the right path and that he will get my prego this month..well technically next month by the time I ovulate...so I'm more than elated and we'll see what happens...in the meantime I will celebrate my 24th b-day this weekend and be able to freely have a few drinks ;-) Hopefully we'll concieve you soon!!

Results of blood work

Well, last Wednesday I returned to the RE and had some blood work done to check my insulin levels and had another ultrasound to check for ovulation and again, I had still not ovulated. Gee, if you don't ovulate, you don't get pregnant, therefore, we are one step closer to the solution. On Friday Linda called and stated that my insulin levels were high and that I was insulin resistant, therefore not ovulating. So now, I have to start taking Metformin once a day for a week and then twice a day from them on in. These meds, along with the low carb diet that I put myself on now, should make me ovulate and hopefully get prego asap. Well, she told me that she would call them in on Friday and when I went to Walgreens on Saturday, they stated that it wasn't called in, which I found weird because I know that if there was a problem with my pharmacy, Linda would have called. So, I waited until Monday to call the RE and she stated that she had left a voicemail..well I guess my wonderful pharmacy decided that messages are not important. So, she had to recall the meds in and then I started them on Tues.

In the middle of all of this heartache, I went to Athena's 30th birthday party on sunday and almost ALL of her friends (okay--3 of them) were prego. I felt so happy for them yet so empty inside at the same time. It's just something life throws at you that you have to live with, but its hard. On to of all this, my phone/dsl internet connection wasn't working for 5 days!!! Apparently the construction site moved the phone poles and Verizon never changed the pairs I've learned all about it) and therefore, my phone line was dead. We waited ALL day on Saturday for Verizon to come and they showed up at 6pm!!! He connected our lines, however used the pairings from the numer down the street and therefore they had our line. When they changed theres back on Monday morning, we had their line...this took place several times until Tuesday when a Verizon man worked on BOTH of the lines at the same time figured everything out!!! Geez. is it really that tought to send the same person to the same street because maybe there might be a problem like this that goes on and on and on and no one pieces it together!!

Anyway, the bloodwork also showed that I still had not ovulated and therefore, there was no way that I would get my period on Tuesday, like I should have. So I had to go take more blood to get a negative pregnancy test in order to start on Provera to bring my period on...right around my birthday, isn't that nice?! And, on top of this I'm sick and I began coughing yesterday so now I have to take a med for that because today I have to go for my routine MRI and I can't be coughing in the machine. I think my body's going to go haywire on me...first I take Metformin (which is really a diabetic drug, but also used in PCOS patients to help them ovulate), now I'm on Provera to bring on my period, then I take Robitussin and today I have to get the iodine contrast during my test!! and I'm anti-drugs, how did this happen to me?? Well, all we can do is take care of ourselves and hope we're doing everything right. Have faith in God and our doctors and we will get to where we need to be!!

Had 1st RE Appt

Well, today was the first day of having closure and step closer to bringing you into this world. We went to the RE specialist in Englewood and he did a huge background study on both of us. He then did an ultrasound, but found nothing as he couldn't see me ovulating, although I should be on day 16 right now. He is very aggressive and assured us that as healthy young adults we should be prego in no time. he stated that for our age bracket, the pregnancy rate is inthe 90th percentile. You can't get much better than that. He stated that if lost a little weight it may help, which I'm trying and that if Derek stopped smoking, it could possibly help as well, which he is currrently too stressed to do. We're going to finish out this cycle, see if I ovulate and possibly get prego or if not in 2 weeks we will begin a new cycle with more aggressive meds. Also, he is not one to wait, I think he likes to get right in there and take care of business. Next week I will go back for another ultrasound to see if I ovulated later than usual and some blood work to check my insulin levels due to my PCOS and to see if I need meds for that as well. After the next aggressive med cycle, I will have to do injectables, which means a shot a day for 10 days. You should be glad that we truly are dying to have you or else there is NO WAY I would even remotely begin to contemplate optionally giving myself daily injections. Also, I think if need be Derek will get a sperm analysis, but I think that we're trying to see if we can find my mix yet before we start working on him, since we already know my prob and he (hopefully) doesnt have one. Well, its all a matter of time and all we can tkae are baby steps, so one step into the right direction and you should be created with love asap :-)

Made an RE appt

Well, yesterday I made my first RE appt. I searched the top doctors and called one that is all the way up in Englewood and we are going there on Sept 19th. The sad realization that I really do need help to conceive hit me yesterday. It's quite upsetting and it hurts to know that you can't do what God gave us all the privilege to do by ourselves, in the privacy of our own home. I hope that my insurance kicks in before the 19th or else I will have to postpone the appointment because it is out-of-network, so if we're going to pay the $, it might as well be put towards our deductible. It's frightening to know just how much medical bills are these days....its outrageous. Also, today is Day 5 and I am still having heavy bleeding. I called the doctor's office on Day 3 and they said even though its out the ordinary for me, they're not concerned about it until Day 10!! By then I'll be so weak and sick, but I can't be an exception to the rules. I took a pregnancy test right before I started the Provera, so I hope that it was invalid and I miscarried :-( Not that I would ever be able to know that (I don't think), so I might as well stop worrying about it now, what's done is done. The months that you don't concieve are since God wanted you to have the children that he will give you, when he has it planned for you.

Today I am also going to start Weight Watchers AGAIN. I need to do this for myeslf and for my future children. I read last night that miscarriagea are more common in women that are overweight and since I know that women with PCOS also have a higher instince of it, I need to lower that factor as much as I can. Regardless, this extra weight is taking a toll on me physically..I'm always tired and too lazy to do things. Also, you have less risks for yourself and the baby if you're at a healthy weight. I hope to lose weight and concieve on the way, however not to lose then 100 that I want to lsoe and then get pregnant because that is going to be a lot of waiting time. So, heres to a new adventure in life..a new body...a new MD and hopefully soon, a new baby :-)

Well, here goes nothing. I guess I am beginning this to "officially" take note of my infertility. We have been trying since we married 7/16/06 and we have gotten nowhere. I hope that my child will one day read this and know how much mommy (and daddy) wanted him/her. Well, tomorrow I am going to call the reproductive endocronologist and see how much $ everything is and weight our options of paying out of pocket or coughing up $ for insurance. Anyhow, I am distraught with the fact of how helpless I am that I can not concieve this baby on my own. I am unsure of how to handle this as I have always been in control of everything my entire life. Well, we will be the happiest parents on Earth when it does happen.